Self Care or Selfish?

Most people have more than one responsibility in their lives; family, friends, work – sometimes even organising downtime seems like more trouble than it’s worth. Like a vacation that you’re glad is over because it took so much out of you just to make it happen – know what I mean?

Somewhere in amongst all the calls on your time, is You – and it is very important to make the time to hear yourself. To know yourself – and to correct any unhelpful thoughts and feelings before they become habits that hold you back.

Can you do this? Yes – you can if you know how. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is all about learning to take control of your thoughts – to jettison limiting beliefs and ideas that no longer serve your interests and replace them with ones that propel you forward towards the life you want.

How often do you do exactly what you want in your life? Did you plan a quiet night in, only to be decoyed out on the town by a friend who ‘needed a wing man’? Or did you miss your yoga class because you took a relative’s pet to the vet? There is such a thing as giving too much – and depleting yourself without stopping to replenish your emotional resources is a bridge past that point.

Have you ever had an awful week, and still allowed a friend to cry on your shoulder? Turned to them for the same support only to find it wasn’t there? How did that make you feel? Drained? Exhausted? This is something you can prevent.

Self care is not selfish – it is essential; even necessary. If you do not allow yourself to operate at your best, you are depriving yourself and everyone around you of all you have to offer – now that could be considered selfish. Putting yourself first in your life isn’t as easy as it sounds. There are a lot of people around you who might try very hard to derail your self-care and self focus – but the only one who can really allow it to occur is You.

Once you know that, you can put some boundaries in place and get to work on making the life of your dreams a reality. There will be resistance – both from those around you and from yourself – but at the end of the day, this is your life. Do you have what it takes to live for yourself?

How often do you do something just for you? What does it give you? What does it cost you not to do this? Share your thoughts in the Comments box below.

2 Comments

  1. That’s right Cherry.
    And only then can I give the best of myself to everyone and everything that I value in my life.

    Reply
  2. What a great experience this is going to be for me. From a long history of ‘people pleasing’ and always being there for others, and not having anyone who really understood or was there for me. But that didn’t stop me, I was taught to look after myself was very selfish and to give to others showed generosity. Mostly I don’t like letting people down, and unable to say ‘no’ (although a couple of friends have been telling me over a few years – ‘Say NO, and look after yourself first’. I’m finally ready to make that shift in consciousness and create a new paradigm in my life. Where’s this oxygen mask? lol

    Reply

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